Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
you never un-have a 4some
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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