The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
