I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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