Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
