I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
