im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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