How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I think I died a long time ago.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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