He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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