how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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