I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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