batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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