fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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