Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
