What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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