Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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