sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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