Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
