K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
