i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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