he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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