You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Found your dick twin last night
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
