Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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