direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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