she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize