His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
