the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
