Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
