Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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