got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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