Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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