alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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