Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
