She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
