She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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