I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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