I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
