I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
