sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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