I accidentally burped into my bong.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
