I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
