Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I didn't notice because vodka
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
