you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
