What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
