Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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