just tell him i said nine months
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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