id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize