I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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