Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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