you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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