my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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