Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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