I just made out with a guy for $7.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
That was an excessively violent trivia night
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
