Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
