Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
