There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
